3/28/05 Update: My stalker couldn't hang with me, so she says she's "throwing in the towel". I've posted the remaining updates and my reaction.
9/12/05 Update: She seems to occasionally resort to her quasi-stalking ways, but nothing unusual to report

I have a stalker. This stalker is a little different than the last one I had, because she hunted wild buffalo as a kid. She lived in a wigwam in West Virginia for the first 19 years of her life before sneaking onto the Naval Academy. I had to teach h19er English initi1ally, which was difficult because she was always trying to make out with the statue of Tecumseh. But once I pried her loose from her bronze lip-lock, I couldn't get her to stop yacking about King Hall's breakfast bacon pizzas, chimichangas, and The Uncrustables. Some of her latest achievements :